Play isn’t just for your kids; even grown ups need to spend time doing fun things. Here’s why play for adults will lead to a more creative and fulfilling life.

+++

Ever since my childhood, I’ve been a big fan of video games.

From the very first Super Mario Bros on the Nintendo Entertainment System (NES) all the way up to the current iteration of Super Mario Bros. Wonder for the Nintendo Switch.

Games have always been my way to unwind and just lose myself in an activity.

But like most adult men, I got away from my passion for a while.

Too busy.

Life was too serious.

Responsibilities were too important.

Time was too tight.

My gaming system would sit on the TV stand and I’d shame myself for even thinking about firing it up. With “so much” going on; how could one even think about playing a damn video game

This continued through the first few years of fatherhood, too.

I really just assumed that as we got older, the idea of playing games was for kids and maybe as they eventually picked up gaming as a passion that I’d be able to join in.

Until one day I said screw that.

It was during my epiphany stage about a year ago. I like to call it the “Doc Brown hitting his head on the sink and seeing the flux capacitor” moment. (If you know, you know.)

My realization that it was time to make a change in my life

I sat down and mapped out a better way to experience life by defining the things that I wanted to do and how I wanted my life to be lived.

It’s where I came up with my four pillars to unlocking a life of fulfillment:

• Body – doing something for your health
• Mind – embracing learning and expanding your knowledge
• Relationships – connecting with at least one person every single day; committing to being more present with the loved ones in your life (i.e., put the phone away)
• And the final pillar was PLAY – do something fun and enjoyable every single day. More fun. More play.

I started viewing life as a video game and my four pillars are my daily side quests to level up my life.

If I could commit to just 15 minutes of each side quest per day, or one hour total, I’d be able to slowly and effectively design the lifestyle I wanted on my own terms.

And that meant a commitment to actually playing video games more often.

I scheduled it into my day.

Playing a video game is my way to unwind from the day, switch off from work and into pre-dad mode.

Committing to just 20 to 30 minutes is not a ton of time, but enough to complete a random side quest in an RPG.

And it’s fun.

(Bonus points that gaming never rotted my brains like the fear mongers from the 80s warned.)

And it’s not some online forum where I’m getting hooked in and red pilled along with a bunch of teenagers.

It’s just me playing in an interactive movie, basically.

After the 30 minutes are up, I’ll shut it down and get ready to pick up my Interns (the kids) from After School programming.

I’m not here to tell you that you should be playing more RPGs, but I am going to make the case that whatever playful activity you’ve been avoiding because you don’t have time or thought you’re “too old for that stuff,” this is your sign to get up and start being a kid again.

It’s important for your overall health to actually play more.

And today, we’re going to talk about why and how play for adults is going to unlock more fulfillment in your life.

Let’s get into it.

+++

Play isn’t just for your kids, you need a break from reality, too

As we get older, work becomes our primary focus. It’s all serious now:

Earning money.

Paying the bills.

Raising the kids.

Feeding the family.

Finding some time to try and squeeze in some exercise.

And if you happen to have some extra time left (welcome to the real one percent), maybe you can chill out for a bit and watch some Sunday football.

You get home from work totally exhausted. But, no rest for the weary. You’ve got to transition from one full-time job at the office to the next full-time job as a parent.

Your brain is oatmeal at the end of dinner and bath and bedtime routines and the last thing you want to do is focus on anything. So you reach for the phone to cure your boredom and veg out on mindlessness.

This seems to satisfy you with quick hits of dopamine until you get the urge to crawl into bed and reset the game of life to start anew the next morning.

Except this ain’t it.

I tell all of my Lean4Life Academy fitness students that fitness and nutrition is only a (crucial) part of this stuff.

But, to really take things to the next level, you must find little ways to enjoy the journey. I’ll challenge them to do at least one thing they find fun for at least a few minutes per day.

If you follow my one hour per day approach to leveling up your life, you’ll have a little gamified way of adding more fun and games into your day to day.

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy”

This doesn’t just apply to boys and girls. It carries through to adulthood.

If you are not finding some time during your day or week to engage in playful activities, you’re doing life wrong.

Children use play to help them learn problem solving and creative thinking skills early in their lives.

Pattern recognition with blocks and colors and shapes were their introduction into mathematics.

Make believe was their way to creatively work through scenarios and potential life situations.

Playing tag at the playground with others was an education in social skills.

Learning through play doesn’t stop because you left formal education. You just stopped doing playing and adopted other means because you were all grown up. But this is flawed. You still need to play as an adult.

Even as an adult, with real-life responsibilities, you must make more time in your day to play

Even the animal kingdom understands this.

Non-humans prioritize play throughout their lives as a means for survival.

Animals use play as a way to prepare for the unexpected. It helps them communicate better. Play helps animals learn to problem solve.

Just like with human children, play for the animal kingdom is an important part of overall development and essentially, survival.

Yet, as we get older, we end up thinking of play as some sort of extra thing that we don’t have time for.

We save our play and fun activities for our vacations.

The problem with this idea is that so many people do not actually take time off, studies show that upwards of 46-percent of Americans do not use their time off from work.

Advantages of play for adults

We think of play as something that is just for fun with no other purpose. So we never assign real purpose or meaning to it.

But in reality, there are several important benefits of play that should shift your mindset around it.

Play for adults leads to more creative problem solving and adaptability in tough situations.

It alleviates anxiety and depression and boosts mood.

Play helps you focus on where you are in the present moment.

You get into what’s called a Flow State: You are so wrapped up in the project or game you are focused on that nothing else really matters. Not even time.

Play helps you reset your busy, perpetually exhausted adult mind.

Don’t just take my word for it, this study revealed how play for adults is crucial to mental health:

“Playful individuals reported lower levels of perceived stress than their less playful counterparts, and more frequently utilized adaptive, stressor-focused coping strategies and were less likely to employ negative, avoidant, and escape-oriented strategies.”

What is play for adults?

I get really analytical about things, so if someone tells me that I should take more time to play, I’m going to research the best ways to play so I’m doing it right.

If you’re anything like me in that regard, then you might need a decent definition of play so you can take action on it.

We get so wrapped up in results-oriented activities that it can be tough to let go of that. But that’s exactly what play is for adults.

As author Esther Perel puts it:

“A fundamental feature of play is that it serves no other purpose. The purposelessness associated with play is hard to reconcile with our culture of high efficiency and constant accountability. More and more, we measure play by its benefits. We play squash for cardiovascular conditioning; we take our kids to dinner to expand their palates; we go on vacation to recharge. Yet if we’re plagued by self-awareness, obsessed with outcomes, or fearful of judgment, our enjoyment is inevitably compromised”
– Esther Perel, Mating in Captivity

A quick Google search defines play as “engag[ing] in activity for enjoyment and recreation rather than a serious or practical purpose.”

Do something fun because it’s fun.

Not because you want to get a result out of it.

Rather than going out for a bike ride because you want to burn some calories with cardio, you go for a bike ride because it is simply enjoyable to you.

It doesn’t have to be some educational brain-building activity, either. If that’s fun for you, then of course you should do it. But, don’t start whipping out word games and brain builders because there’s some level of sophistication that you’re chasing after.

You’re allowed to just be fucking silly sometimes.

Embrace your inner child and actually let your imagination run wild for a change.

Ways to add more play into your day

The easiest way to get started playing more is … to simply play more.

But that sounds so damn whoo whoo and unattainable to the hard-charging working parent who’s exhausted from the office and overstimulated from kids.

I like to start by thinking about the things that I enjoyed when I was a kid myself.

What did you do when you were younger that really lit you up and allowed you to get into a flow state?

If you enjoyed Legos in your youth, maybe that can turn into adult Lego sets now. The Millennium Falcon is on my list of grown-up Legos that I’d like to conquer one day.

Climbing trees can turn into rock climbing.

Playing make believe can lead into an adult acting class or joining your community theater (which is bonus points for adding a social aspect to it … although this is not necessary for completing the assignment).

You can incorporate micro play for adults into your day, too

I like the idea of adding brief bouts of play into your day when the schedule gets super tough.

This is similar to the concept of micro workouts that I use with some of my Lean4Life students where you perform exercise intermittently throughout your day.

Find a few minutes to enjoy that thing you love. Preferably something that is not on your phone.

Every night when my family is cleaning up from dinner, we turn up the music, play some fun songs and we all dance. It’s about 10 to 15 minutes of just having fun and while yeah, it does help aid in digestion a bit to be active after you’ve eaten a meal, that’s not the intention. The intention is really just to have fun and play.

Are there pockets of time during your daily life that you can find for some play like this?

Just 10 to 15 minutes is all you need per day to reap the benefits of play for adults.

Here are a few ways to incorporate more play for adults:

• Dance party with your kids
• Rock climbing
• Play more sports with your friends
• Acting classes
• Cooking classes
• Build Legos
• Play video games
• Learn to play chess

Your homework is to go forth and play.

Now that you understand the assignment … get to work, or play.

My entire approach to life changed when I realized that no one was coming to save me. That happiness is a choice and delaying my gratification was serving no other purpose than to stress me out.

So, I made a change. A change to embrace more fun, more connections, more play into my daily life.

I want the same for you. So if you can find one or two things that you’ve been shaming yourself out of doing because “so much is happening right now” or because you’re “too old for games,” let this newsletter be the swift kick in your ass to stop being so serious and start getting silly by playing more as a grown up.

I hope you enjoyed this newsletter. As always, if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out.

If you’re interested in working with me to get a complete body transformation program that couples minimalist training with a personalized approach to nutrition (no calorie counting here), then you should check out my Lean4Life Coaching Program.

I answer all of my emails at pete [at] petecataldo [.] com … Hit me up with the subject line “play for adults” and I’ll answer any questions you have to make this work for you.

Until next time,
Pete