The real reason for your burnout might not be what you think. And that’s why you can’t escape this cycle of exhaustion. Here’s what you need to do.

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Two years ago, I hit a wall.

I was exhausted as a stay at home parent to both kids.

And doing it while creating content and running my own business.

I was low on energy. Motivation was in the pooper.

Every daily project, activity, and priority bled into another.

Wake up. Work. Parent the kids. Work some more. Make a second breakfast for the kids. Create some content. Maybe do a little workout. Then back to work.

Hustle culture totally seduced me.

The weekends weren’t for rest, but for catching up on more work.

“Millionaires and high performers never take a day off, neither should you, Pete.”

So it was more of the same.

None of my day was for me. No wonder I felt burned out.

Until I finally lost all interest and almost broke down. That’s when I realized I had to make a change.

Some people call this a midlife crisis.

I call it an awakening.

One that I think many 40 year olds are going through right now, too.

We’ve been sold a dream that was never realized. That if we worked hard, it would all pay off. Newsflash: It hasn’t.

We’re still toiling away to line the paychecks of our corporate overlords hoping that one day we might be able to retire.

Until then, we are going to go through the constant new normal of feeling like this. Lost. Unfulfilled. Going through the motions.

Burned out.

Maybe you’re in a similar situation.

It’s time to fight like hell to escape this purgatory.

But first, you need to tackle the real reason for your burnout. It might not be what you think.

Let’s get into it.

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What if your burnout was actually kinda bullshit?

Stay with me. Let me cook for a minute.

Maybe you’re not actually burned out. But instead, you’re just doing a bunch of work that you really don’t care about?

You’re so damn bored of the work you do and the daily grind of sleep, work, eat, parent, repeat.

We say we’re “tired” and “burned out.” And that leads to doing fewer things in hope of resting our way through it.

Only to be less fulfilled because there’s still nothing enriching going on in our mediocre, boring life.

So we blame ourselves and then try to do even more. The cycle continues.

It’s exhausting. And unfulfilling.

And it’s leading to all the major signs of burnout (as defined by the American Psychological Association):

“Physical, emotional, or mental exhaustion accompanied by decreased motivation, lowered performance, and negative attitudes toward oneself and others.”

This is where the productivity influencers will sell you on woo woo approaches like focusing less on “status” so you can value your “self-worth.”

None of this is truly actionable.

Then the wellness influencers will convince you that it’s your adrenal glands or something.

They’ll have the perfect horoscope reading and 60-day cleanse package to fix it for you.

None of this is backed by actual science.

These solutions don’t address the real reason for your burnout: You’re out of fucks to give about the work that you’re currently doing.

Yes, resting will help.

It will help you find clarity in what it is that you actually want to be doing with your life.

But it won’t fix your problems until you actually do something about it.

Because you can’t return to the same habits and routines that burned you out in the first place.

You’re going to need to get out of your own head and choose to start doing things that fulfill you.

You must beat the real reason for your burnout

Where do you possibly begin? The answer is hidden in plain sight.

You start with that little whisper in your head of what you’d like to do with your life if you “only had the time.”

If you’re obsessed with something and thinking about it every single day, that’s what you need to chase.

“If you can’t stop thinking about it, don’t stop working for it.”

– Michael Jordan

If you’re creative, you need a creative outlet.

Do you like to play games, sports, video games? You need to start playing.

If you’re into building things, go find something to build.

Maybe it needs to be your own side hustle or business that you need to build to give you more work you give a fuck about.

It won’t be perfect. And frankly it doesn’t have to be.

You won’t have nearly as much time as you’d like. But, you owe it to your future self to figure it out.

Take control of your calendar

It’s time to get really clear on your time.

• Where are you spending your time?
• How can you free up more for YOU?
• What’s one fun or creative thing you can prioritize this week?

We get caught up in reactionary mode, saying “yes” to every social obligation on the planet.

As parents, we try to optimize the schedule for our kids and book up their weekends with activities.

Every single moment of blank time or “free time” gets filled. Or else we feel inadequate and unproductive.

It’s like going to a buffet and only having a little appetizer plate. You can easily overload it.

Boredom is productive. Rest is productive.

Schedule the rest if you need to do so. You’re 40-percent more likely to do something if you schedule it.

But also take action.

Introducing the WISE Framework

WISE stands for Wellness (health) … Improvement (learning and skill development) … Social connections … and Enrichment.

When I started focusing on my WISE Pillars, I escaped survival mode and started feeling like me again.

And it all started by simply blocking 30 minutes a day for something just for me.

Wellness

You don’t lack the energy to exercise. It’s actually the opposite.

You lack energy because you don’t exercise regularly, my friend.

Start small. Even minimalist workouts like these can go a long way.

Improvement

Your mind needs stimulation. And social media ain’t the tool for it.

Pick up a learning habit. Learn new things related to your career if you’d like.

Maybe this is a pillar worth exploring if you really do want to start your own business.

As of writing this, I’m taking a 30-day digital course on improving my newsletter writing.

Or perhaps you just want to learn new things or news skills just because.

Over the summer I plan to dive a bit deeper into the history of Rome.

Go practice guitar.

Get really good at chess.

Learn to cook some gourmet style shit or tackle a new language.

When you start expanding your mind daily, the neurons in your brand expand (like a muscle) and build new connections which can “help preserve and enhance cognitive function in the aging brain.”

Never stop learning.

Social connections

A major part of our burnout is the loneliness of not having time to hang with friends anymore.

Every year, I make sure to have at least one guys’ only trip with my boys.

And throughout the year, I do my best to stay in touch with former colleagues, acquaintances, and loved ones using this method I wrote about in a previous newsletter.

Get out of the turtle shell, reach out and touch someone (not literally, that’s creepy).

Pick up the phone and call a friend. Yeah, call.

Make a commitment that you’ll try to have one meaningful and engaging conversation with at least one person every single day.

Enrichment

Cue Anakin Skywalker quote: “This is where the fun begins.”

But, you’re not having any fun in your life. And that’s the problem.

This constant state of survival mode will lead to resentment and bitterness if you’re not careful.

Every day, I make time for activities that light me up: reading a great book (currently Red Rising) or playing video games.

These small moments give me something to look forward to every day.

You must do the same.

You’re burned out because you’re not living the life you want to live

Time to get serious and figure out how to do it better.

Starting today, you must carve out more time for you.

Figure it out.

If you need to cut back on something for your career, or even for the kids, do it.

Look, the kids will survive with one less soccer commitment. They don’t have to be stimulated every single moment of the weekend.

Kids are allowed to be a little bored.

And if kids being a little bored is what helps you find even a little time to do something you enjoy, it’s a win for the entire family.

Maybe your career in its current state ain’t cutting it and you need to find a better way.

When the 9-5 blends into the 5-9 it leaves zero for you. No wonder you’re going through the motions lost, hopeless, pissed off, and exhausted.

Time to fix that.

You don’t need motivation, or permission, or another course or guru to follow.

Life will get a lot easier when you realize no one is blocking your path to a better life. The door is right there and you can choose to walk through it whenever you want.

Be obsessed with something. And make it your Life’s Work to do it starting today.

Once you do, I promise you’ll start to feel less exhausted and more excited. Alive again.

I hope you found this useful. If so, I’d appreciate it if you sent this newsletter to one person you think would benefit from my writing today.

And if you’re new here and enjoyed this newsletter, I’d be honored if you subscribed for more at this link.

And as always, if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out.

I answer all of my emails at pete [at] petecataldo [.] com … Hit me up with the subject line “reason for your burnout” and I’ll answer any questions you have to make this work for you.

Until next time,
Pete