In this newsletter you’re going to learn a four-step method that you can use to stop wasting your life and start building a better future after 40.

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One day you wake up and realize that if you are halfway through this journey called life.

That means your remaining days on earth are officially lesser than the days in which you’ve already lived. Yikes.

You start to appreciate the concept of impertinence. That life is not infinite. Tomorrow is not promised.

You start thinking about life choices and your legacy:

• What have you done with your life thus far?
• Is it what you dreamed of in your childhood?
• Did you have some big idea for a successful lifestyle that got tossed aside after kids and a decade of cost of living raises?

The average life expectancy of American men is about 75 years old.

I’m 45 years as of writing this, meaning that I would have only 30 years left to expect to live.

And that leads me to this quote:

Thirty years from now you’re going to regret not taking a chance on that thing that was calling you because you thought you were “too old” back in your 40s.

Read that again.

We’ve been seduced into thinking that if we just worked hard in our 20s and 30s, that it would pay off in our 40s.

That’s when we’d finally be able to slow down since we’d be in charge and making enough money to save for retirement while still enjoying a decent lifestyle.

But then you wake up on the plus side of 40 and realize that dream never actualized

It seems like you’re working even more, even harder than you did in your 20s and 30s.

On top of that, you’ve got a family, kids, you’d like to enjoy a semblance of a social life.

You’re thinking this isn’t what you signed up for and you’d like to change.

But the idea of change becomes too daunting. Too time consuming. Too much like something a 40-plus year old shouldn’t be doing, because… What the hell else are you going to do anyway?

So you settle.

It’s good enough. You’re not out in the streets.

There’s that annual vacation that you can still afford that’s always fun.

You do have some savings starting to build up a little bit (although it’s looking more and more like it won’t be enough for retirement, though).

You’re getting perilously close to one day waking up in your 70s or 80s on your deathbed with the most common regret among the dying:

I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.

Is this the life you want for yourself?

Even when you know you could be doing more with your time, your energy, your career, your passions?

The 40s should be the best decade of your life.

If they are not, or haven’t been, it’s time that we fixed that.

We’re going to do a hard reboot.

It’s time to stop wasting your life after 40 and start living fully and meaningfully.

Let’s get into it.

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Stop wasting your life by taking back control of it

When you make a change and start prioritizing yourself, that’s when you’re back in control.

Control of your life. Your time.

Imagine waking up with a real sense of purpose.

Not one dedicated to supporting someone else’s vision for life, while you bust your ass to line their pockets.

Instead, you feel good about what you’re going to do with your days.

You have something to look forward to.

Even if you decide that your current career and job is acceptable, you’ll finally have that thing outside of your work that will light you up and help you experience more out of these rotations around the sun.

This is possible.

A year ago, I decided that I was going to make a change.

Although, if we’re being completely honest, it was probably more like a midlife crisis.

I was burned out and realized that my entire life was spent chasing a dream that would never actualize if I didn’t step up and take control of it. So I’m making it my Life’s Work to do just that.

It starts by reconnecting with that dream of a more fulfilling life and the inner child that had that dream.

You’re not too old.

You’re not starting from scratch.

You’re starting from experience.

And you’re going to use all of your experiences to finally catapult you into a better lifestyle so you can stop wasting your life after 40 and start thriving.

Here’s how you’re going to stop wasting your life in four crucial steps

You must understand that this is the most important pivot you’ll ever make in your life.

Sorry to up the intensity level, but it’s true.

Now is the time to act and if you are in your 40s, you are uniquely qualified for your own reinvention.

Why?

You are young enough to still truly enjoy this stuff.

Look, Tom Brady was 43 years old when he won a Super Bowl with the Tampa Bay Buccaneers after pivoting away from the New England Patriots.

In my book, if you can still play at a high level and win championships, you are definitely not “too old.”

But at the same time, you’ve got lots of experience now.

You know exactly what you like and what the hell you do not like.

And you’re old enough to finally have zero fucks about offending people when you decline invites and chose yourself.

On top of that, you are not alone.

I don’t pretend to have all of the answers, but I know that many of us are feeling the same way about midlife.

Don’t believe me? Go check out the comments from this post on Threads of all the 40 year olds that are going through similar feelings that they’re wasting their lives after 40.

Is this a midlife crisis?

Or maybe some kind of awakening in the over-40 crowd of Elder Millennials and young Gen X’ers (or the subset I like to refer to as the Xennials)? I don’t know for sure. But I like to think of this as our Renaissance Era.

We have so many resources and technology and information to help us design a better lifestyle. It would be a disservice to our future selves not to capitalize on it.

If you’re reading this today, you’ve likely had a calling.

There’s this whisper in our ears to evaluate life right now and chart a better way forward. You may have been too scared to truly listen. Maybe that whisper is shouting at you now.

“The more scared we are of a work or calling, the more sure we can be that we have to do it.”

— Steven Pressfield, The War of Art

It’s time we took action on this feat and ignited a movement towards building a better future for ourselves.

One that is more fulfilling. Enjoyable. One that makes you happy.

Find a damn hobby (play more)

I used to play video games back in my childhood.

From the original Nintendo to PlayStation2. I always had a gaming console to help me lose myself in another world.

It was like an interactive movie.

But as I got older, I settled into my family and business lives, I shunned gaming because “I was too old” and it was not something a successful dad running his own business should be doing with this time.

That was some story I made up in my own mind about it.

Until I hit this midlife epiphany and realized that time is far too short, that video games are something that light me up and make me feel like a kid again.

So now I play just about every single day when I get the chance. Even if for a few minutes per day.

You don’t have to play video games, that ain’t the point here.

But, you do need to find a hobby or an interest. Something that is creative or interactive. An outlet. Something.

When was the last time you did something like that?

You lost sight of it and it’s a big reason why your life feels unfulfilled.

You’re filling your cup with everything for everybody … except for you.

Find your community (relationships)

Part of the midlife crisis situation stems from not having the same connections that you did throughout your youth.

We get caught up in family life and work and just like our hobbies, we end up pushing some of our friendships to the side. Unintentionally.

We end up being “too busy” so much that it’s the default setting.

And then eventually it’s been six months since you talked to one of your friends and two years since you hung out with another.

Find your tribe.

Human connection is one of the most important aspects of the journey.

I joke about being an introvert and how my superpower is to be alone. But at the end of the day, it’s just that … a joke.

Don’t let superficial acquaintances on social media trick you into believing that you’re connecting with humans.

I do value online communities. In fact, I think it should be part of your tribe.

However, you must also prioritize in-person connection, too.

Go schedule that trip with your girls.

Look at the football schedule for the next year and get something in the books for a road trip with your boys.

Get something on the calendar for an adult beverage, lunch, brunch, or even just a coffee with your people (yes, schedule that shit like a Zoom call if you have to do so).

If you are lacking in the friends department, it’s time to branch out of your bubble and start talking to people (shock, horror!).

Look, unlike the other generations, if you’re 40 years and older, you are uniquely equipped to handle this task: you grew up with an analog childhood and transitioned into a digital adolescence and early adulthood.

Meaning, you know how to operate without your phone for three damn minutes so you can talk to your barista.

Make it a point to strive for social snacking by reaching out and talking to one person per day. Part of my non-needy approach to building a better personal network.

Focus on your health (Body)

Movement leads to momentum, which builds motivation.

The easiest way to get started reinventing yourself and turning your life around in your 40s and beyond is to embrace an exercise habit.

Yes, I’m a bit biased as a former fitness/nutrition coach who still writes quite a bit about this stuff.

But let me cook for a minute here.

When you start exercising, your body fires more of the feel good hormones like adrenaline and dopamine.

Research shows that you are more likely to want to eat healthier after you’ve exercised.

Exercise builds confidence.

You realize that …

• Yeah, you can show up and do something hard for a few minutes …
• And that you can prioritize yourself …
• You start feeling that confidence carry over into many other aspects of your life: from parenting to marketing to making love.

If you are not exercising, start.

If you are exercising, don’t stop.

Need some inspiration or some clarity on where to start with consistent exercise and/or strength training? Start with this guide to microworkouts and build up from there.

Bonus points if you have an active hobby that you enjoy that also has a community aspect to it (like a runner’s club or rock climbing or even CrossFit).

Build your skill set (Learn)

You left formal schooling and the education stopped.

Sure you pick up a book from time to time; maybe you sit in for those webinars, or even go to the annual industry-focused conference.

But that’s not enough.

When we don’t sufficiently use our muscles, it’s a signal to our body that they are not required and to be more efficient, the body starts the process of atrophy, which is science for: you lose muscle as the body ends up eating away the unused tissue.

When you don’t flex your brain power, you start atrophy of the mind and you get brain rot.

Keep the mind sharp by challenging yourself every single day.

This is your sign to stop wasting your life and to start learning something new.

If it is something tied to your career or your own business, cool. Use it to your advantage to level up.

It doesn’t have to be about acquiring professional skills, though.

Learn new personal skills just because.

Become your own renaissance person and branch out to creative things like language learning or even picking up a musical instrument.

Challenge yourself to learn something new every single day.

When the hell are you going to have time for this?

Prioritize it. Start small. Then schedule it.

You’re building small and measurable habits that will eventually ladder up to a lifestyle worth living.

This is not about overhauling your entire life and creating a bunch of habits that you’ll never be able to keep up.

That only leads to overwhelm and anxiety and then you’ll quit and curse my name.

Let’s not do that.

Instead, I want you to think of one or two things that you can adopt over the next few weeks.

Then make them smaller than you can imagine so you can stick to those habits and build momentum.

As you get proficient with those one or two new habits, then you can either increase the intensity of those habits or add new behaviors to your arsenal.

Schedule everything.

You’d be surprised how you can magically find time for reading, exercising, or even playing games if you just get intentional about it and actually schedule it into your calendar.

Start small and slow to stop wasting your life

Don’t commit to five workouts per week if you’re not even doing one.

Start with one session (maybe something minimal at home like how I train) and then build up from there eventually.

Don’t start trying to read 10 books per month if you’re barely even making it through one per year.

Start reading one to two pages per day.

Stack that reading habit with another common ritual of yours so you don’t forget (like read a few pages while you sip your morning coffee or before you go lights out at bedtime).

If you want to stop wasting your life, you’re going to have to finally get serious about your life.

Make this reinvention your life’s work. And then fight like hell to make it a reality.

I hope you found this useful. If so, I’d appreciate it if you sent this newsletter to one person you think would benefit from my writing today.

And as always, if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out.

I answer all of my emails at pete [at] petecataldo [.] com … Hit me up with the subject line “stop wasting your life” and I’ll answer any questions you have to make this work for you.

Until next time,
Pete