You have a choice: Keep going on this current path and burn yourself out. Or starting today, you can choose your own hard to turn your life around. Here’s how.

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Let’s hop in our DeLorean and do some time traveling.

Not back to the past, but 20 years into the future.

You’ll likely be somewhere in your 60s by then (I would be about 66 years old as of writing this).

Where are you?

What are you doing?

Are you still working? Or have you been able to break free from your capitalist overlord to earn some semblance of retirement?

How are you feeling?

This is the big one.

Are you in shape? Energetic? Fulfilled and happy?

Or are you lethargic? Out of shape? Bitter about a life that got away from you?

I realized a few years ago that midlife truly is a crossroads

We realize that we’re on the back half now. There are fewer days left to live than we’ve already experienced.

Harsh truth, but let’s use it as motivation.

How will you choose to maximize the time you have left?

You can choose to stay on your current path and hope something turns around.

Or you can choose to put in the work now that will make your future self proud.

Neither choice is easy. Both are hard. It’s time to choose your own hard.

Let’s get into it.

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We all tell ourselves the same lies

Someday we’ll get in shape; someday we’ll write that book; someday we’ll figure out how to be better with money.

The problem is that “someday” never comes.

We sacrifice our time now for imaginary time in the future.

And our future self pays the price.

There’s no time for exercise now, so you don’t do anything.

Can’t think straight with so many tasks and kids to manage, so you don’t spend time working on that project.

Eventually, the lies catch up to us.

And we’re left feeling bitter about it.

“Damn. I wish I would’ve got off my ass and exercised more when I was younger.”

Take a real hard look at your life

Because how you feel 20 years from now will be a direct reflection of the actions, decisions, habits, and routines that you make starting today.

In my own little multiverse, I want to avoid a future timeline where I am doomed to repeat the past from my corporate office jobs.

I refuse to settle for a life of being overweight; out of shape; unable to keep up with my kids, or with my grandkids, as I get older.

No thanks to a life where I’m confined to a rocking chair or couch all day, chained down by a juggernaut of prescription drugs required to keep my body “technically” alive.

This alternate universe is what I call my anti-vision.

In that alternate universe, I wouldn’t be a present father. I’d have terrible anxiety and would be hating life, hoping one day I could find more happiness.

That life is pretty hard, too.

But, I chose my own hard over that alternative.

Motivation will only get you so far

I don’t always feel like waking up at 5:25 a.m. to go for a walk.

Writing 1,000 words every single day feels like a chore most days.

Motivation is out the door on my workout routine nine times out of 10.

The last thing I want to do most days is prep a 47th snack for my kids, then jump on the floor and play monster trucks with my six year old.

None of this is easy. It’s hard to show up and do it all consistently.

But, I do it anyway.

I’m committed to the plot.

So I work out daily. I practice mobility every single morning. I watch what I eat. I hit my daily steps. I do things to manage my stress.

Not because I want to … not because I’m always motivated to do so … I do all of this because once I hit 40, I hit that crossroads and decided to choose to get dialed in and focus on making my life one of meaning and fulfillment.

Yes, you do have the time to choose your own hard

But where do I get the time to do all of that?

You’re thinking of this the wrong way.

If you make it a priority, you’ll find the time.

Let me break it down with four things I try to do every day (and how it doesn’t have to be complicated).

Exercise at this phase of life should be non-negotiable

The alternate universe of exercises a life of being sedentary, which we know leads to a metric fuck ton of trouble with your health as you age.

Prioritizing exercise doesn’t mean immediately joining your local CrossFit.

You can start with walking and slowly adding in some regular resistance training (I like to keep my training minimalist and it’s helped me get into the best shape of my life after 40).

Learning something new challenges your brain

Just like resistance training is good for muscle, learning is great for the mind.

Pick up a book on an interesting topic (history, neuroscience, cooking) and commit to reading just one page per day.

Anyone can read one page per day.

Because the alternative is a brain that atrophies, just like a muscle that goes unused and unchallenged.

Have more meaningful conversations

From a mental health perspective, we know that social connections are pivotal to living a more balanced and fulfilled life.

One meaningful conversation per day.

It can be as simple as texting a loved one. Writing a letter. Picking up the phone and call a friend. Talking to your barista.

Don’t over think this one.

Do something fun

And if you’re not carving out time for fun everyday, what’s the fucking point?

Not only on the weekends. Every. Single. Day.

Play a video game for a few minutes. Read more fiction. Sign up for a sport.

Throw on some music and dance—we do this as a family after dinner just about every night and we all dance around and get silly (helps with digestion and also counts for exercise).

These are all my tiny micro habits that can lead to bigger results when you compound the interest.

Is it easy to remember and do on those days when the office kicked your ass? Of course not.

Are you going to motivated to showing up for yourself every single day? Nope.

But, starting today, you are choosing your hard.

The alternate universe you are committing to now will make your future self proud.

Choose your hard and make your future self proud

Are you on the path to one day waking up and feeling like a sample of my alternative timeline?

If so, the time to make a change is right now.

Not Monday. Not “someday.” But right now.

You are more in control of the trajectory of your life than you realize.

Are you going to finally step into that role for yourself to take control of your peace, energy, and your health?

Or are you going to continue going through life on cruise control, letting the car dictate how you speed through the troubled traffic of career, parenting, your own health and fulfillment?

The choice is yours.

It won’t be easy.

You’ll mess up. Miss workouts. There’ll be seasons where you weren’t as consistent with learning or having better conversations.

You might have to juggle all of this on top of a crazy packed schedule.

But, with each small win, you are building momentum towards changing your life around. And doing it on your own terms.

Make today the day that you choose to prioritize you and your Future You for once.

Choose your hard.

I hope you found this useful. If so, I’d appreciate it if you sent this newsletter to one person you think would benefit from my writing today.

And if you’re new here and enjoyed this newsletter, I’d be honored if you subscribed for more at this link.

And as always, if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out.

I answer all of my emails at pete [at] petecataldo [.] com … Hit me up with the subject line “choose your own hard” and I’ll answer any questions you have to make this work for you.

Until next time,
Pete