By Pete Cataldo
The importance of giving yourself the room to make mistakes when trying to redesign your life after the age of 40.
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A few years ago, I hit a wall.
I was done.
My business no longer inspired me. Creating content felt like a chore.
Even the thought of adding more clients to my roster was exhausting.
Like, I couldn’t even muster the drive to make more money? Yeah, it was that bad.
What made it worse was this feeling like I was boxed in. Trapped in this perpetual timeline that I couldn’t escape.
I was “this close” to burning it all down, declaring it a midlife crisis and using that excuse to make drastic changes.
You might feel something similar right now.
Unmotivated and uninspired.
Doing things you enjoy feels like a drag and not worth it.
If you’re like me, it can also feel lonely. Almost like it’s impossible to escape this hellscape since you have so many people depending on you.
But I’m here to tell you that if you are reading this now, it means you’re on the path towards actually doing something about this purgatory.
Honestly, I’m thankful for that funk. It turned out to be the catalyst for turning my entire life around.
Sometimes, you need to come close to rock bottom in order to reset, reload and eventually soar to higher levels.
I’ve learned so much about myself and about making bold moves after the age of 40 during this pivot, I figured it was time I shared some of my journey in hopes of inspiring you.
Let’s get into it.
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Starting over is nothing new to me
In 2009, I left my childhood dream career as a TV sports anchor to chase an equally-crazy dream of living in New York City.
My finance (now wife) and I both left our jobs, sold all of our things, drove to NYC and slept on a friend’s couch until we landed whatever employment we could find.
I started a new career (public relations and marketing) and worked my way through fancy jobs with big fancy companies doing fancy things (like managing the Veterans Day Parade on 5th Avenue in the City).
In 2014, I left my career in PR and took a bet on myself to become a voiceover actor. I narrated three published audiobooks and a few commercials.
It was a bridge career that eventually led to my online fitness coaching business where I’ve been ever since.
Until that focus on fitness burned me out, led to massive anxiety … and the eventual epiphany that it was time to make the most important change of my life.
Clearly I’ve made drastic changes before, and I knew the playbook.
This time felt different, though
The burnout this time felt like a Thanos punch to the gut. It sucked the wind out of me. Forced me to recollect and actually think.
When you hit this stage at midlife, there’s a bit more of that sense of urgency around it. There’s less time to “play around” and you’ve got to be serious and you’ve got to get it right.
The stakes are higher.
No way in hell could I just overhaul everything like I did in my 20s and 30s. I have a wife and two kids and an expensive closet-sized Brooklyn apartment to pay for.
We can’t just blow it up and take big risks after 40. We need time to be more calculated.
I had to start slow and small and be okay taking my time.
What if you gave yourself more room to make mistakes?
Instead of trying to completely overhaul your life as fast as humanly possible, what if you embraced a slow and steady approach?
What if you gave yourself time to explore without the expectation of rushing to see it through and then move on to the next … thing?
Nothing sexy. Nothing immediate.
Just showing up for yourself daily.
Actual life-long and meaningful results come from this simple and repeatable process:
- You take messy action.
- Learn from the mistakes and the messiness.
- Apply what you learned.
- Take more action.
And you just keep going.
I started writing more.
And instead of writing only about deadlifts and meal timing, I was writing about things that interested me—like exploring life after 40.
I was writing about topics that I had experience with, too—like practical time management and productivity strategies from a former stay at home dad of two kids that did that while building an online coaching business and creating daily content on social media.
I restarted my newsletter that I ghosted for nearly three years. But my return was not about protein and fat loss, but about topics I was exploring to slow down my life.
The key was giving myself room to be messy. I resisted the urge to do “big launches” and “secure the bag” with “$10K months.”
No.
This was about playing the long game.
Over time, I noticed how I was posting far less about health and fitness and more about just building a better lifestyle for people like me after the age of 40 who’ve been lied to by our capitalist overlords and want to find more fulfillment.
I took it slow.
Instead of following that capitalist urge to do it fast and better, I convinced myself that this was going to be the time that I finally designed a lifestyle for myself.
On my own terms.
And if that meant taking much longer than I originally envisioned, who cares? What’s the rush?
I made this my Life’s Work to figure out a better way.
And I finally landed here.
It’s been over a year since I emerged from the ashes of burnout to begin this evolution.
And I’m finally ready to say that I’m retiring as a fitness and nutrition coach.
It’s super exciting (and incredibly nerve-wrecking) to announce my new career as a digital writer about self improvement, productivity and … yeah, some health stuff, too (I’m still certified as a fitness/nutrition coach after all).
Allow me to reintroduce myself and my new community, The LevelUP Life (formerly Midlife Mastery).
More about that in a hot second … but first, here’s your playbook to make a major pivot like I did.
Give yourself more runway to explore
I remember getting so annoyed back in my corporate P.R. days when an email would come in as “urgent.”
Like … we’re not saving lives, we’re saving PDFs.
What the actual fuck could possibly be “urgent” about schlepping Guinness or MasterCard to people?
You don’t have to fall for that corporate urgency nonsense in your own life.
Turning your life around is the most important thing you’ll do. It’s okay if you take your time to do it right … by slowing down.
Ask yourself three questions:
I. What is your overall vision? What’s the goal?
I had to go on long walks with no phones, journal often, be super okay making a few less sales for my business in order to listen to what my body and mind were screaming.
When you finally learn to slow it down, you might finally hear that whisper in the back of your head that’s screaming for you to change.
II. What are the small habits and systems I need to get me closer to this vision or goal?
In order to really invoke meaningful, life-long change, the power comes in building up smaller habits that you can sustain for a lifetime.
Find the smallest little routines you can add to your day to get you just one percent closer:
- Walk for 10-15 minutes if you want to get in better shape.
- Write one page per day if you want to write that novel.
- Post one piece of content if you’re getting started as a creator.
There will be no perfect time to start. So start now. And when you start, it won’t be perfect. It’ll be messy as hell. That’s okay. Give yourself the room to make those mistakes.
And stop rushing the process. If you think it’ll take six months, double that time frame. It’ll probably take a year. But what’s the hurry? You’ve got the rest of your life to figure this out.
Then ask yourself:
III. How do I learn from the mistakes I make along the way?
That’s what separates the growth-mindset—where you’ll eventually succeed—versus that fixed mindset that will leave you trapped.
View the setbacks as feedback. More opportunities to learn, grow and improve.
Remember: the only way you ever truly fail … is if you give up.
I’m not a coach anymore. But …
I’m building this community through Substack because it allows me to keep everything in one convenient place (rather than multiple third party platforms).
And it allows me to keep the price down for you. I’m only asking for $50 for annual members (or just $5 per month) for right now. Because I know that times are tough and asking for premium pricing, like many creators do, just feels icky right now.
In the LevelUP Life community you’ll get:
- 1-2 weekly essays where I explore how I’m slowing down my life in this fast-paced world so you can become the best version of yourself
- Quarterly mini-courses that deliver deeper dives and actionable insights on fitness/nutrition, time management, and personal growth
- Community chat where you have real-time access to me and conversations with a tribe of 40+ year olds all trying to figure it out
It’s designed to help you build better systems to free up more time in your busy, stressed out day to actually enjoy more time.
More time with your family.
More time to get in shape.
More time to actually grow as a person.
More time for yourself to explore more of the things you love, but thought you were “too old” to experience them or just flat out never had the time to explore them.
This community is built on my experiences through my many different careers as a journalist, marketer, event manager, voiceover actor, content creator, entrepreneur, stay at home dad and fitness/nutrition coach.
If you’re in your 40s (or older) and feeling like something is missing and you want to do more with your life, then you’ll understand exactly why this community is so close to my heart.
I’m excited to share it with you. You can join us by clicking here.
Thanks for coming along this wild ride with me … here’s to more awesome-sauce and well-timed f-bombs.
And as always, if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out.
I answer all of my emails at pete [at] petecataldo [.] com … Hit me up and I’ll answer any questions you have to make this work for you.
See ya on the inside,
Pete