Why holding yourself to a standard with personal mini rules and systems not only keeps you grounded but also in line with your values and beliefs.

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There’s nothing quite like the office pizza party.

The way your coworkers suddenly launch into this feral animal behavior to get their one to two slices of pepperoni.

How the managers and higher ups act like this pizza is an immaculate gift that will eliminate all of the bullshit they put you through since … noon.

The strange pull that tells you to eat it; despite knowing it’s not in line with your own health goals.

I was that rebel who wasn’t afraid to decline the pizza.

Basically the way I saw it, mass produced pizza like that never tastes as good as it looks.

Not to mention, I could barely tolerate some of those folks in the office. Why waste the calories on these people when I could enjoy a quality slice at home with my family?

So I created a little mini rule for myself:

No “fun” or “off-plan” (a.k.a. cheat) foods in the office when I can get something just as good (if not better) at home or with loved ones.

I’m not in the corporate world anymore, but I still apply this rule to things like kids’ birthday parties.

Look, if there’s something that looks incredibly worthwhile that I wouldn’t be able to get at home, I’ll try it. I’m not an asshole.

But setting rules like this one create guardrails to keep me from failing off the cliff and eating like an asshole.

It’s time you made some rules for yourself.

I’m talking about little rules that you set for yourself to hold yourself to a standard. To keep you accountable to your values, beliefs and your goals.

Let’s get into it.

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We can all be super impulsive in our day to day lives

Without having a set of rules that keep you on track, you’d be surprised at how many illogical things you’ll do.

• Road rage.
• Getting shitfaced drunk.
• Buying that [insert whatever impulse buy you’ve made in the past and immediately regretted].

Trusting our instincts and just “going with the flow” can have some drawbacks.

Especially when we get distracted by that new shiny object or exciting idea.

Establishing rules help me stay in line with my values

When you have a set of rules that guide you through life, you’ll respect yourself more for staying true to yourself.

You step into that identity as the kind of person that shows up for themself and honors their own beliefs by actually following through with actions.

“A man got to have a code.”

— Omar Little, The Wire

I have a set of values that I want to live by:

• Being present with family
• Reliable
• Healthy
• Trustworthy

And my private rules for myself help me live according to those principles.

What do you stand for?

This isn’t about restricting yourself and boxing yourself into stringent rules.

But if you’re the type that falls into the same trap twice, this is a way to finally learn from your mistakes and avoid making them. Again.

Think about a few of your own personal beliefs, values, and even goals that you’d like to achieve.

Then think about the major obstacles and challenges that you’ve personally faced to uphold those ideals.

What could you have done better or even just differently? Then make your own little mini-rule around it.

This is totally personal

I’m not going around advertising that I have a “No Pizza at Parties Rule.”

I just apply it confidently without feeling any pressure from someone passing their own insecurities onto me about it.

A few other rules I’ve made for myself that might give you some inspiration:

No sitting on the couch during working hours

Since I work from home, I can easily fall into the routine of crashing on the couch and sitting like a pretzel. Which would destroy my posture over time.

I made a little rule/challenge to either stand at my desk, use my ergonomic stool, or sit on the floor (I have some cushions for that).

No work after 5:00 p.m.

If I want to be the type of dad who’s present with his family, then I need firm boundaries for my work schedule.

Otherwise, I’ll find every excuse to just keep creating content or answer some more emails.

I now have a hard out for my workday (most days my shutdown time is around 3:30 p.m. but my absolute hard out is when I get my kids from school at 5:00 p.m.).

Never let my kids be my alarm clock

I need a few minutes before I immediately launch into dad duty.

If I don’t get those precious few moments of peace, quiet and clarity, it affects my mood the rest of the day. I find myself more anxious and less patient.

Rule number one to my slow morning ritual is to make sure that I’m up at least a few minutes before the kids.

Use the bathroom in peace. Sip some coffee. Take a few deep breaths. Set my intentions for the day.

This way it’s more like: I’m waking up for my kids … not to my kids. Ya feel me?

Always give my kid a hug when they ask

My kids love to give hugs.

I never want to shun that kind of affection. I want to embrace it.

With parameters, of course.

Because sometimes we might be in the middle of something and my kids time that hug request rather poorly.

Like, if I truly am in the middle of something important and urgent, I will ask my kid to wait a second and then as soon as I’m done, I’ll give them a hug.

It’s just my way of fostering a loving home and environment for them to one day do the same.

I’m not terribly rigid with these rules, though.

Somedays, I’m a rule breaker.

But one absolute non-negotiable rule that I stand by with everything:

I can never miss twice.

Somedays, I might break a rule and miss a behavior or habit or cheat a little. No worries. I’m not an algorithm-driven A.I.-powered robot. I’m a human. And that means I’ll miss or mess up.

But I can never miss twice in a row.

Random personal mini rules you can apply:

• No phone within 30 minutes of waking up.
• Say one positive thing about your day when you get home BEFORE you go down the rabbit hole of how shitty the office was.
• You must unpack as soon as you get home from any trip and before you commit to doing anything else.
• Kitchen is closed after 8:00 p.m. (or whatever time works best for you)

This is not about being a robot

It’s not about being perfect.

I cannot count how many times I’ve done something stupid or broken one of my rules (either by choice, or because I was being really impulsive in the moment and lacked clarity).

Your rules are your rules and your rules only. And those rules will likely change quite a bit over time.

We’re human beings after all.

And I want you to still be spontaneous. Adventurous. To try new things, travel, seek out new foods, cultures, peoples.

Setting these little rules for yourself is just one way to spice things up.

To make little mini games out of staying consistent with your health or your own values.

You can finally learn from past mistakes to keep your future self in check.

I hope you found this useful. If so, I’d appreciate it if you sent this newsletter to one person you think would benefit from my writing today.

And if you’re new here and enjoyed this newsletter, I’d be honored if you subscribed for more at this link.

And as always, if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out.

I answer all of my emails at pete [at] petecataldo [.] com … Hit me up with the subject line “holding yourself to a standard” and I’ll answer any questions you have to make this work for you.

Until next time,
Pete