What if building discipline was possible without having to punish yourself or without being born with some superpower? Here’s how to build and harness it for good.

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I have no desire to write this newsletter right now.

I’m doing so after a long holiday weekend and I’m feeling a bit under the weather and a tad headachey. But, I’m here.

I’m here because I’ve spent the last year building the practice of writing every single day.

Seven days per week.

And just about 365 days per year (I’ll take holidays and vacations off … and won’t force it if I’m truly sick).

Likewise for my health.

Every single day, I exercise.

Some days that exercise looks like a full-body minimalist bodyweight workout.

Other days, it might be more like mobility and a walk.

But either way, I’m moving my body every single day.

No excuses.

No exceptions (except for being sick, of course).

How did I make this happen?

Was I born with some innate superpower called discipline? Nope.

I just started with the slow and go approach of identifying some things that I wanted to achieve (write a consistent high-quality newsletter and be in great shape) and I prioritized my time and energy to make both a habit.

I’ve built the discipline up to where these are daily things for me.

And I’m going to teach you how to do the same.

Because I don’t think there’s anything crazy difficult about building discipline if you know how to pull the right levers.

But I do think there are some things you must take into consideration.

Let’s get into it.

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Building discipline is not about punishing yourself

You’ve been sold a raw deal.

Most people assume that discipline is something you are born with.

That the most successful people on the planet came out of the womb ready to crush the world with their unrelenting determination.

You look at the rituals of some of the most influential, successful or even the fittest people on Earth and say to yourself, “They must have incredible discipline, I don’t know how they do it.”

We’ve been seduced into thinking that discipline is misery.

It’s “No pain; no gain.”

It’s punishment.

You can’t “get in shape” without forcing yourself into doing nonstop exhausting workouts and following restrictive diets full of rules like the elimination of all things carbohydrates.

You can’t start that business because it means working 24/7. Always plugged in. Waking up at 4:23 a.m. every single day. “Like the CEOs do.”

That book is never happening, either. Because the most prolific writers are cranking out thousands of words every single day. No way you could do that consistently enough to craft your novel.

You assumed that building discipline is simply not in the cards for you.

So you don’t even try.

I’m here to tell you that’s all bullshit.

These are stories you’ve made up in your head by an ego that wants you to stay stagnant.

Discipline is not what you’ve been led to believe after all of these years

The Wikipedia definition of discipline is:

The self-control that is gained by requiring that rules or orders be obeyed, and the ability to keep working at something that is difficult.

Notice it didn’t say anything about being an asshole to yourself and doing some ridiculous feat of suck to prove a point.

Nor did it say anything about discipline being some attribute assigned at birth.

From now on, I want you to see discipline for what it is: A muscle.

And like any physical muscle, in order to grow, it needs progressive overload (a.k.a., lots of practice and reps).

Building discipline is like climbing a ladder

You start on the bottom rung.

As you develop more consistency with the new behavior or habit, you can add complexity.

And then you advanced to the next rung on the ladder.

You can even attempt a rung (or level) that is a bit higher than you think you’re capable of. But not too high.

We’re looking for what James Clear calls the “Goldilocks Range:”

You see, if a habit is too easy to perform, you’ll get bored with it because it lacks a relevant challenge for you.

And then you’ll quit.

On the flip side, if a new habit is far too difficult, you’ll develop anxiety and be overwhelmed by the process.

And then you’ll quit.

Instead, the Goldilocks Range is exactly how it sounds.

You find a habit or behavior that is just right.

It must challenge you enough to encourage motivation to keep going, while still allowing you to make enough progress to avoid discouragement.

You need to be able to build some momentum with small wins.

Let’s take a better look at this through real world examples

What’s the first thing most people do when they think of healthy eating?

They scrap everything and pick some rigid diet with a ton of rules.

No more carbs. No more sugar. Fasting all hours of the day. Eating only protein and plants.

They commit to counting all of their calories.

And in most cases, they pick an unsustainable level of calories as a target because they want to get results right now.

It’s a complete overhaul of their diet.

And because it’s such a drastic change, it ends up being unsustainable.

You haven’t built up enough muscle to lift this kind of nutritional weight. Of course you end up failing.

And then you blame your lack of discipline.

When in reality, it wasn’t your fault.

The system you created for yourself was far too difficult. You haven’t built up the discipline muscle yet.

To actually build discipline the solution is to simplify and start slow

Your goal is to develop a system for a behavior that you can implement right now without much resistance.

Going back to our diet analogy and building discipline through simplified and attainable behaviors:

• Start by developing a system to include protein at each meal. That’s it. Get good with this new habit first.
• And then another system to prepare your breakfasts and lunches during the week, leaving a bit of wiggle room for dinner.
• Perhaps you can add an additional layer like packing some fruit to snack on instead of the candy jar outside of HR’s office.

Work on those habits for a few weeks. Get really good at them. Make them consistent behaviors that almost become second nature.

Then you can add another layer:

• In addition to the protein, you can start including more plants (veggies or fruit) to your plate.
• Perhaps you opt to prepare all but one or two meals at home every week.
• Or you start working on portion control habits to add more protein to your plate.

Your new approach to building discipline

Don’t make the next rung of the discipline ladder too difficult. But, if you do, no worries, just step back down a level or two and reset.

Advance only when you’re ready to do so.

Over the next six to 12 months, you are going to completely reinvent yourself by learning how to finally harness the discipline required to make a change.

It starts with understanding the exact changes that you need to make.

Where do you want or need to improve the most over the next year?

List it out.

Get specific.

Challenge yourself to get weird. Be bold.

Think of the things you’ve been sitting on for years (decades?) with ever really taking a chance on yourself because you assumed you just couldn’t find the discipline to make it happen.

Determine the priorities to get started

Maybe you’ve got like five different things you’d like to change or work on. Awesome.

You might only have the time and focus to make one of them work right now.

There are immense benefits to working on one specific thing at a time.

Figure out the most important thing to focus on for the next 12 weeks (or about three months).

We’re going to follow a seasonal approach

Each season, or quarter of the year, you’ll tackle one thing really hard with as much focus as possible.

Looking for where to start?

I believe we should all have emphasis (or focal points) in the following four areas:

1. Health: this includes exercise, nutrition and mindfulness

2. Knowledge acquisition: learning new, interesting, valuable and worthwhile skills or just wisdom (never let your mind atrophy … you should keep learning daily)

3. Relationships: spend quality time with loved ones

4. Play: enrich your life with meaningful and fun activities or prioritize rest and relaxation (there are seven types of relaxation that you can target)

Once you determine where you want to improve, you need to get realistic about how much time you have to make this happen.

Set a real goal based on your abilities, motivation and time allotted

You can’t expect to get six pack abs in three months if you’re 50 pounds overweight.

Writing an entire draft of a New York Times Bestseller in four weeks is improbable if you can only devote one page per day.

There’s nothing wrong with taking things slow and measured. Remember that.

Resist the urge to compare your speed of progress to others. This is your story and your journey and yours alone.

“I don’t have time” is not an excuse. It’s a weakness.

If you make it a priority, you’ll find some time.

And once you accept that, you’ll understand that even a little time goes a long way, once you start realizing that first point (that this is your journey and your speed, and to stop comparing yourself to arbitrary timelines and deadlines).

Even 15 minutes per day adds up to a collective 91 hours over the course of a year.

Block the time out in the calendar to perform your habit

If it’s exercise, block out the time to train.

If it’s writing, do the same.

Can you devote at least 15 minutes per day to this new behavior?

What’s the minimum you can do to get started?

• One set of push-ups per day.
• Read one page per day.
• Write 350-500 words (about one page) per day.

Find that Goldilocks range for your desired habit.

If motivation is a major factor (which I’m guessing it is since you’re reading this now) stop trying to be super human and remember that we’re building muscle.

Build momentum on the new systems you’ve developed.

And then try your hardest to keep the momentum going.

Your goal is to have no “zero days”

Discipline does still require rules that must be followed. I get that.

The best rule to follow is one of momentum.

And you keep momentum by committing to no “Zero Days.”

These are days where absolutely nothing gets done towards your new project or goal. Avoid these at all costs.

Even if it is just writing one sentence, one rep of a bodyweight squat, one healthy snack or a side.

If you do miss one day, have a plan to avoid missing consecutive days.

You’ll notice that over time, the momentum carries, you start building confidence in this new activity.

The behavior becomes a bit easier to manage and execute.

You might even start developing some motivation to do more. Good.

That’s when you know it’s working and you’ve added muscle.

And that’s when it’s time to advance along the discipline ladder.

Add a little more to your plate.

Maybe now you’ll perform two sets of push-ups, or one set of push-ups and one set of squats.

You can go from writing 350 words to 500 words per day.

Wash. Rinse. Repeat.

Congratulations, you just built discipline

Even if you’re in your 40s or older, this is possible.

You don’t have to go to military boot camp to learn it.

Didn’t need to be born with it.

Certainly don’t need some super human power of discipline to harness it.

You just need to start slow, small and keep going.

Now get started.

I hope you found this useful. If so, I’d appreciate it if you sent this newsletter to one person you think would benefit from my writing today.

And as always, if you have any questions, please feel free to reach out.

I answer all of my emails at pete [at] petecataldo [.] com … Hit me up with the subject line “building discipline” and I’ll answer any questions you have to make this work for you.

Until next time,
Pete